The begining of another year, and yet nothing much changed.
It had been a hard years for me. so much has changed. So many revealations and dissapointment, so much heartbreak. And yet, outwardly, they all semeed so normal. I sometimes wondered how that was possible. How your heart could break, shattered beyond repair, and yet you went on - making coffee, buying things..., you got up, you showered, you dressed, you go to bed, sometimes you even dare to date another man. But inside, part of you had died.
In years past, I had wondered how other people lived through it. It had morbidly fascinated me at times. But now I knew. You went on living. You just did. Your heart kept beating and refusing to let you die. You kept walking, talking, breathing but inside everything was hurting. You were tempted to gi crazy. To let the pain take you.
But I can't. I couldnt let self-pity control me. I knew better than let myself do that. Self-pity, self-indulgence was a luxury I could no longer afford. All I could do and must do now is move forward.
But i had moved into an unfamiliar land, with landscape i didnt like. It was bleak, an unpopulated and at times unbearably lonely. At times, I felt as though i had come there by myself, except that i knew, many people was there too, lost in the desert somewhere. In their own's private hell.
Some of them, resemble a familiar faces.
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